But even knowing this, many volunteered to meet him during my first visit to Norway.
The grizzled Roman god of the sea -- called Poseiden in ancient Greece but in our case waiter Patrick Palm -- certainly bore no malice.
Indeed, after each passenger's neck got a splash of cold water, Norwegian crawberry wine soon took any shiver out of their timbers.
"That was fun," Luila Neerman, travelling with husband Ulrik, a plumber from Denmark, enthused after the baptism ceremony on the Norwegian Sea aboard our magnificent 12,000-tonne vessel.
Built in 1996, the seven-deck, 123-metre white-hulled ship -- whose name means "Northern Lights" -- is one of 14 Hurtigruten liners, explained Nils Urban Eriksson, the genial, knowledgeable cruise director and artist.
The more than 120-year-old firm's ships ply the breathtaking fjord-and waterfall-lined Atlantic Ocean coast between Bergen and the most northern town of Kirkenes, near Russia.
The liners carry cruise and daily passengers, mail and cargo and stop at 34 ports.
Eriksson said settlements date back 12,000 years and one of the oldest peoples, the Sami -- reindeer herders once called Laplanders -- emigrated from Asia.
Early Norse ventured forth in open boats. Ocean-going traditions continue, but roads and railways now link many communities, including Oslo.
Norway's largest city, the capital offers superb walking, with wide streets, a port for ferries, train service directly to the airport and numerous parks. Cultural centres include the city hall, where the Nobel Peace Prize is awarded each December, the royal palace and a new Opera House.
Unlike ships that sail to sun destinations, Hurtigruten cruises offer a relaxing experience for people who can afford the time and seek their own amusements.
Polarlys can carry 737 day or cruise passengers and 35 cars, with 479 cabins for seven-or 12-day voyages plus lounges. There is fine dining and a 24-hour cafe on the fourth deck, which also has a children's playroom, satellite TV, an Internet room, plus a large bar-lounge with after-dinner entertainment which, in our case, was provided by singer Sylvia Krasteva and her musician-singer partner Yassen Gerassimov, from Bulgaria via Morocco.
On northern and southern voyages, passengers can disembark at several ports and see the sights, adding to the enjoyment of this "Land of the Midnight Sun."
At Alesund, guide Maaike Van Dijk took us on a walk through the colourful town which -- like many in Norway -- was ravaged by fire. Most of the city of 41,385 was rebuilt with concrete after the Jan. 23, 1904, inferno. Buildings in Art Nouveau style, cobblestone streets, cafes and shops provide ample, attractive venues.
Many passengers enjoyed sitting in Polarlys' panoramic bow lounge on deck seven. Some travellers relaxed, happy to sink deep into comfy stuffed chairs when the seas swelled, making walking a challenge.
It was here that Odd Erik Bostrom, a retired cruise ship courier from Bergen, offered us the history and family lore that brought him and a female companion to the northern region.
Bostrom's grandfather came from Lofoten, islands with a breathtaking landscape -- sheltered coves and beaches surrounded by 160 km of mountains, where Orca whales visit in summer.
"This is the most important area of Norway," Bostrom said, describing centuries of cod fishing as "the backbone of the economy."
Built around 870 AD, the first homes replaced overturned boats fisherman shivered under for shelter, he said. Once-a-day dining -- "the most healthy meal you can eat," but with little appeal today -- was on cod, cod livers, cod roe and potatoes.
Bostrom said "Norway was a poor country, but they could export fish. They transported their catches to Bergen, the only city where the king allowed export shipments."
There were once 40,000 fishermen, he said. Since 1946, however, the industry declined to about 3,500.
Norway's economy grew after World War II, and today it ranks among the wealthiest, most peaceful and educated nations. The fourth-largest oil exporter -- mostly from the North Sea -- also has rich natural gas, hydropower, fish, forest and mineral resources.
The land of Dale Rosten's ancestors also attracted the General Mills cereal quality manager and his wife Kimberlee from Minnesota.
"Grandfather was from a mining town near the Swedish border," Rosten said, "Grandmother was an 'uplander'. "
We met as our ship slowly sailed past the breathtaking scenery I often spent hours admiring -- from grey-black, often barren rocks jutting from the ocean to wooden homes, barns and occasional lighthouses that cling to the sometimes tree-lined shores.
Rosten believes his forebearers passed through Trondheim, a Norwegian centre of education, technical and medical research with almost 167,000 inhabitants.
Another good walking city, Trondheim's magnificent Nidaros Cathedral is the only one in Norway of Gothic style and was built over the grave of St. Olav, its patron saint. There is also the large Olavshallen Concert Hall; wide streets and colourful multi-level 1700s wooden riverside buildings.
Warmed by the Gulf Stream, Tromso is also well-worth exploring.
With no sun for two winter months and total sunlight for four months, guide Jan Heuer said the two-island city of 65,000 residents boasts several "northernmost" world sites, including a university, botanical gardens, brewery, cathedral and Burger King.
One of the highlights is the Polaria Aquarium, where three 250-kg northern "bearded" seals put on a show and I had a chance meeting with Arne Berge, a 1952 graduate of Concordia University in Montreal and former president of the Norwegian-Canadian Association.
At Norway's most northern point lies North Cape, which offers breathtaking views popular with hikers and tourists. Beside its 307-metre high plateau and a cliffside building that houses a cafe, shops and a theatre is an international peace monument designed by seven children brought from around the world in 1988.
When we disembarked at Kirkennes the next day, several members of the crew came to bid us farewell.
In addition to a warm, friendly atmosphere on MS Polarlys and ashore, the voyage of a lifetime could only end with us saying "Tausend Tak" -- a thousand thanks.
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BOTTOM LINE
CRUISE TIPS
- Hurtigruten's peak cruise season is summer, but even fall and winter voyages attract visitors, many hoping to see the Northern Lights, which offer a light show ranging from soft greyish white to brilliant greens.
- En route with Icelandair, we saved time clearing passport control for Norway at the airport in Reykjavik, Iceland.
BOOKING
Hurtigruten offers many itineraries and discounts for early bookings, etc. For instance, after a current early booking bonus, a southbound six-day cruise from Kirkenes to Bergen starts at $749; a seven-day northbound Bergen to Kirkenes cruise starts at $949; a 12-day round trip voyage starts at $1,359. Cruise fares are per person based on double occupancy in an inside cabin during low season. Fares include all cruise taxes and are in Canadian dollars. Some restrictions apply. The company's most popular cruise sails north from Bergen for a 12-night round-trip voyage.
- For more on Hurtigruten's cruises, contact GLP Worldwide Expedition Travel & Tours, 1211 Denison St., Unit 26, Markham, ON, L3R 4B3 or requests@hurtigruten.ca. On the web, visit hurtigruten.ca or call 905-489-1938, or toll-free 1-866-383-1110.
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