If it's less than 20 seconds or more than 30, be wary.
That tip comes from Jack Groot, who runs the Midwest Barista School, next door to his JP's Coffee and Espresso Bar in Holland, Mich.
Since opening in 2007, more than 120 would-be coffee shop proprietors and baristas have attended from as far as Montreal and California. (Visit mbs.jpscoffee.com).
Most courses take several days, but they also offer a four-hour "home barista" one. Groot and his staff gave us an abbreviated version during a visit earlier this year.
I emerged wired from too much caffeine and with a newfound respect for anyone who can make a really good espresso or cappucino.
Unfortunately, says Groot, not that many can. "Easily 50% of the coffee places in the U.S. serve a substandard product," he told us.
Even experienced baristas make mistakes. Our instructor, Jonathan, dumped his first two shots because he wasn't satisfied with them. Starbucks addicts in our group doubted you'd see that done at the big chains.
Jonathan beckoned one of my colleagues. Her first attempt wasn't bad, but on her second the grinds fell out, a reminder that 60 pounds of pressure needs to be applied to pack them tightly enough.
My first espresso took 21 seconds, beginner's luck.
Next we learned to steam milk in a metal jug for cappuccino. Groot had told us the foam is supposed to be part of the drink, not something scooped on top, as you see done in many places. My colleague and I aced that.
The final stage was making a shot of espresso and moving immediately to steaming the milk. Beginner's luck didn't last. The milk was fine but my espresso was judged too weak.
I had more success earlier at the Artisan Cooking School in Grand Haven, a Lake Michigan summer resort just north of Holland.
Adult cooking classes are held there Tuesday evenings, starting around 6:30 p.m. and lasting 21/2 to three hours. Subjects range from making soups to grilling hors d'oeuvres, and students eat what they make.
Owner Howard Norris taught us to roast spaghetti squash, cook pasta from semi-scratch using a food processor, make marinara sauce, and cut, stuff and fold ravioli and cappelletti.
He also passed along some useful tips, such as how to handle yellow onions with a minimum of weeping: Refrigerate them 40 minutes or so, cut them in half with a sharp knife and place the halves face down before dicing.
And what do you do with a can of tomato paste when the recipe calls for only a tablespoon? Open the can at both ends and push the contents through. What's left over can be put in a baggie and refrigerated. (Visitartisancookingschool.com.)
To visit the Holland-Grand Haven area, take Hwy. 401 west to the Blue Water Bridge at Sarnia-Port Huron, then take Interstate 69 to Lansing, I-96 to M6, which bypasses Grand Rapids, then I-96 again. For tourism information, visitholland.org.
Hotel tip: The CityFlats Hotel in Holland was the second in the world to be certified LEED Gold. (LEED means the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design, Green Building Rating System). Designed and built by a Holland firm, it's the prototype for a hotel brand they plan to market nationally.
In-room features include cork flooring and hypoallergenic bamboo linens. Bathrooms counters are made of recycled glass and concrete, and the recycled vinyl on hallway floors resembles carpet but can be damp-mopped. Even if you're staying elsewhere, pop in for a peek. Visitcityflatshotel.com.
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