Add those to the list of famous last words from airline passengers connecting to another flight. Or from flight attendants trying to reassure them when their first flight is running late.
Two hours usually is ample time for flights within Canada and to the U.S. unless:
Your initial flight is delayed.
You're connecting at a major airport, such as Toronto Pearson or Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson.
You have to clear immigration, particularly when large numbers of international flights are arriving.
Any combination of the above and lotsa luck.
I hit the trifecta -- all three factors -- on a trip in June from London to Roanoke, Va., via Chicago. And, as a bonus, I had to go through security again in Chicago.
My flight from London to Chicago O'Hare was scheduled to depart at 4:49 p.m. and arrive in Chicago at roughly the same time because of the one-hour time difference. My connector to Roanoke was leaving three hours later.
The incoming flight was late reaching London and we sat on the tarmac until 5:25 p.m. waiting for air traffic control at O'Hare -- where late-afternoon congestion is normal -- to give us the green light.
At 5:45 p.m. I joined a line at immigration that stretched to the back of the holding area.
O'Hare is the third busiest airport in the world, after Atlanta and Beijing. Most of those ahead of me had just arrived from northern Europe and had to have their fingerprints and palms scanned. Canadians are exempt but are still slowed by that requirement.
The line moved at a glacial pace. Standing on concrete is hard when you have arthritis in the hips or knees. But at least I wasn't encumbered with fractious kids and mounds of luggage.
By 6:45 p.m. I was worried. If and when I ever got through immigration, I still had to clear customs, take a train to another terminal, go through security and reach my gate.
I flagged down an airport worker and explained my dilemma. Nothing he could do, he said, but maybe I could ask people ahead of me to let me go in front of them.
I'd already queue-jumped until I encountered a foursome who were in the same boat.
Boarding time for my connector was 7:30 p.m. I reached an immigration officer at 7 p.m. and he whipped me through. Customs was a breeze. The train took just minutes. The security line was surprisingly short, and my gate was nearby. My Roanoke flight was called a minute later.
One hour and 15 minutes is my longest wait at immigration. But I read of a Toronto journalist taking 21/2 hours to pre-clear at Pearson.
I could have avoided a long wait with a NEXUS card. It costs $50 and is good for five years. Applicants are interviewed, fingerprinted and have digital photos take of their face and irises. Visit www.cbsa-asfc.gc.ca/prog/nexus/menu-eng.html for details.
Next time I flew through O'Hare, I insisted on an early-morning arrival, when O'Hare has few international arrivals.
But there's a downside -- security is often swamped at that time, particularly at Terminal One.
There's a way around that. If your connection is from No. 1, get off the train at Terminal 2. Go through security there, where the lines are usually smaller, the walk to No. 1. I ran this idea past a TSA agent and a frequent flier who works in corporate travel in Chicago and both approved it.
O'Hare does have something that'll raise the spirits of older travellers. When I ordered a beer in a restaurant, my server, whose nametag read "Eunice," looked slightly embarrassed.
"Can I see some ID?" she asked.
I'm 75 with grey hair and a limp. I thought it was hilarious.
"It's airport policy," she explained with a grin. "You can tell your friends you were carded at the airport."
Thank you, Eunice, for making my day.
Doug English can be reached at denglishtravel@gmail.com or by mail c/o London Free Press, P.O.E. Box 2280, London, Ont. N6A 4G1.
